I used to think more was more when it came to my hair. More product. Wrong! This resulted in more breakage and work. Then, I made one simple shift: I stopped doing so much. I went low tension, low manipulation, and low product. And my hair has never looked better.

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What Is a Low Tension Hairstyle?

A low tension style is exactly what it sounds like — a style that places little to no mechanical stress on your hair follicle and scalp. No tight ponytails. No slicked-back edges pulling at your hairline. No extensions or braids creating weight at the root. No constant manipulation that leads to friction and breakage. For me, low tension means wearing my curls in their natural free state — half air dried and some heat, defined, and left alone. Being gentle on my hair matters, especially after 40.

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Why Low Tension Matters in Perimenopause

Here’s what nobody tells you: hormonal shifts during perimenopause directly affect your hair. Estrogen and progesterone help keep hair in its growth phase. As those levels fluctuate, hair can become finer, shed more, and take longer to recover from damage. That means the styles and habits that felt fine in your 30s can accelerate thinning in your 40s. Low tension styling is one of the simplest, most effective things you can do to protect your hair during this season of life. Less pulling. Less breakage. More retention. Longer, healthier hair over time. This is the longest my hair has been since my 30s.

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My Full Low Tension Curl Routine

The Foundation: Co-Washing Only – I don’t use shampoo. I wash my hair exclusively with conditioner — a method called co-washing — and it has been one of the most transformative changes I’ve made for my curl health. Shampoo, especially sulfate-based formulas, strips the natural oils that curly hair desperately needs. Co-washing cleanses gently while keeping moisture locked in.

My go-to co-wash is the Karseell Collagen Hair Treatment Deep Repair Conditioning Argan Oil Collagen Hair Mask (16.90 oz / 500ml).

This is a deep conditioning mask that I use as my wash. It’s rich in argan oil and collagen, which means every wash is also a treatment. My curls come out softer, more defined, and far less prone to frizz. For dry or damaged hair — which many of us have after years of heat, color, and hormonal changes — this is a game changer.

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The Styling Secret: Less Product, More Intentionality — This Is Important I use gel. But here’s where most curly girls go wrong — they apply too much, and they apply it everywhere. I don’t drench my hair in product. I focus on my ends, not my roots. The roots have enough natural oil to define themselves. The ends are where definition and moisture are needed most.

My non-negotiable styling gel is the PATTERN Beauty by Tracee Ellis Ross Curl Gel (9.8 fl oz).

This gel is lightweight and gives beautiful definition and shine without the crunch, without the flaking, and without weighing my curls down. It’s designed for curlies, coilies, and tight textures — and it delivers.

The shift to less product has given me:

  • Less breakage
  • Longer hair retention
  • The ability to go 3 to 4 days between washes

That last one is huge. Less washing means less manipulation, which means less stress on your hair and follicles!

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Refresh Days: Extending My Style Between Washes – On days 2, 3, and sometimes 4, I refresh rather than re-wash. This is where my supporting products come in. Here is my curl refresh the line up:

Rizos Curls Refresh & Detangle Spray

This is my daily refresh essential. It detangles without pulling, adds hydration, controls frizz, and works on every curl pattern from 2a to 4c. It’s vegan, cruelty-free, and formulated with coconut oil — so it nourishes while it refreshes. I spritz this on my curls in the morning and they wake right back up.

Rizos Curls Light Hold Gel

On refresh days when I need a little more definition, I layer in this light hold gel. It’s flexible, flake-free, and frizz-free. Made with aloe vera and free of sulfates, silicones, and parabens — so it works with my hair, not against it. A small amount on my ends is all I need.

Karseell Moroccan Argan Oil Hair Serum (50ml, cold pressed)

This weightless argan oil serum is my secret weapon for shine and frizz control. A drop or two on my ends and my curls look intentional and polished. It’s cold pressed, which means the nutrients are preserved — and it never makes my hair feel greasy or heavy.

My Backup Conditioner – When I want to switch things up or give my hair an extra moisture boost between deep conditioning washes, I reach for the SheaMoisture Curl & Shine Conditioner in Coconut & Hibiscus (13 oz).

This conditioner is specifically formulated for thick, curly hair. It moisturizes, softens, and helps with definition. It’s a classic for a reason — and it works beautifully as a co-wash alternative or a rinse-out conditioner on lighter wash days.

The Full Product List

ProductPurpose
Karseell Collagen Hair Treatment MaskCo-wash / deep conditioner
PATTERN Beauty Curl GelPrimary styling gel
Rizos Curls Refresh & Detangle SprayDaily refresh and detangling
Rizos Curls Light Hold GelRefresh day definition
Karseell Moroccan Argan Oil SerumShine and frizz control
SheaMoisture Curl & Shine ConditionerBackup conditioner / lighter wash days

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The Results After Switching to Low Tension

This was not an overnight transformation. It took consistency and trust in the process. But after committing to low tension styling, less product, and co-washing:

  • My hair is noticeably longer
  • My curl pattern is more defined and consistent
  • I experience significantly less breakage
  • My scalp feels healthier
  • I spend less time and money on my hair

And perhaps most importantly — I feel more like myself. My curls are part of my identity. They always have been. Treating them with intention rather than force has given them back their vitality.

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The Perks of Low Tension Curly Hairstyles

  • Versatility in styling – I can wear my hair half up
  • Gym proof – I can put my hair in a bun
  • Less tangled hair
  • More time between having to refill my products

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A Note for Women 40+

Your hair in your 40s is not a problem to be solved. It’s hair that is shifting — just like the rest of you. Hormonal changes are real, but so is your hair’s ability to thrive when you give it the right environment. Low tension. Low manipulation. High quality products. That’s the whole formula. Your curls are still beautiful. They still have volume and life and personality. They just need you to work with them, not against them.

Final Thoughts: My Curls Are Happy

The results of this curly hairstyle – the healthiest hair ever. I love it here!

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Want more beauty tips? Follow me on Instagram @livbyviv for style tips that celebrate midsize fashion over 40. Want more outfit inspiration for women who know what they want? Follow me on Instagram @livbyviv for style tips that celebrate midsize fashion over 40. Check out more posts here.

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